10 Month Old wakes so often at night

Q: Hi there

I am sure you get thousands of these e-mails so I am probably number 1001. I desperately need advise please. My husband and I are so tired and it’s even started affecting my job and I’ve even been addressed by my boss about my “attitude”….. Since 6 weeks my baby has not been in a good sleeping pattern. He is now almost 10 months. He wakes up so often at night and after I returned back to work it just got too much for us so we resorted in putting him in bed with us so we could all just get sleep. So basically this is our routine: During the day at day care he would sleep for an hour at 08h30 – 09h30 again from 12h30-13h30 and again from 16h30-17h00. He gets his dinner at around 18h00, bath time between 18h30-1900. Then I normally give him his last bottle at 19h00 and if I’m lucky he will fall asleep. Most of the time he gets very drowsy and just when I think he is going to fall asleep any moment, the eyes open up wide and I get a big smile and he just wants to stand up and play! It is a huge struggle to get him to lay down and stay down and SLEEP (he is a very strong willed little boy). I get so worked up and irritated in the end that I find myself shouting at him and storm out of his room……. While I’m trying to get him to sleep I am thinking of dinner that still needs to be made, bottles to wash, bags to get ready……and I would really like to get into bed by 9 so that I can just get a head start before he wakes up again. When I do eventually get him to sleep, it would only be for about 2 hours before he wakes up again. If we are still awake I would try and encourage him to fall asleep in his cot, if we are already in bed we put him in bed with us L I know it was the wrong thing for us to do but we were so desperate for sleep. Now I don’t sleep well when he is in our bed either. Besides the fact that he tosses and turns so much, I am uncomfortable and wake up with back and neck ache. This has to stop but I also find that I am too tired and cold at night to actually keep him in his cot and persevere. I’ve tried the sleep training a few times but must admit that I did not do it consistently. Where do I start? What do I do first? How do I know if he needs iron supplement and how would this help his sleeping? I would really appreciate some help and guidance from you.

Many thanks Barbra Conway

A: Dear Barbra

You are having a tough time but are not in a unique situation. Firstly, I suggest that for a thorough look at his sleep, you should get Sleep Sense. That should help with some quick solutions. Then off the bat I can see a few things that you need to set right: 1. His day routine is not too bad although his last sleep of the day is quite late – try have him awake by 4:30 (down at 4) 2. Try making sure his ears is clear and put him on an iron supplement such as Floradix liquid iron. 3. When you have bathed him, stay in his room until he is drowsy – play with him on the floor as he hasn’t seen you all day and may need a bit of floor time with you. Then put him down after a bottle in your arms by 7 4. As soon as he is down walk out and if he stands up – that is no problem. If he starts crying sit with him quietly not shouting until he falls asleep. Don’t’ speak to him, just sit with him. The sleep coaching is in our book. 5. If he wakes at night do the same thing each time. You point out that you get angry with sleep training and don’t do it consistently. It can do more harm in this case so don’t do sleep training unless you are calm and consistent. If you are still battling, Ann or I can see you and guide you a bit.

All the best Meg