Trust your instincts
ANTOINETTE:
Hi Meg
As mothers we have cetain instincts when it comes to our children. I recently took Dan (1) to the local clinic as his scalp was dry and itchy. I was told to just leave it alone and it would go away. So I left it, trusting the advice of a medical professional, but I constantly felt like I should be making a Doctors appointment. 3 weeks later I finally did make that appointment and it turns out that he had an infection on his scalp, that he has now spread to other parts of his skin. Nothing that a few doses of antibiotics wont cure. But I could just kick myself for not trusting my instincts in the first place.
I recently had a letter from a mom who was concerned about how the nursery were dealing with her child. This mothers instincts were crying out to her, but she didnt want to be rude, and didnt want to interfere, so she left it until there was quite a serious accident in the nursery. Thankfully her child was fine, but the mother is now so upset with herself for not raising her issues sooner.
The lesson here is to trust your instincts. We know our children best and we are connected to them by an invisible string. If you are unsure, if you need to seek further advice, if you feel you need to ask questions… then Do it!
Hi Nette I know exactly what you are talking about. Often I know something or just feel something about one of my kids but I become too anxious to follow my gut because I am conditioned to seek advise. I think because we are educated and because there are a plethora of ‘experts’ out there, we lose confidence in ourselves and don’t follow our gut. I do think that with subsequent children we do become more confident and also to busy to seek advise. So maybe we parent more from the gut with baby two and three than with our first borns.
The one thing that you mention about day care concerns me though. I really think this is one area where you take no risks. What I wish someone had told me was: You will really KNOW when your baby is happy. If you have doubts then change the day care. I made such a mistake with James on this area. He was 19 months when I put him into daycare/nursery for two hours twice a week. He sreamed and cried and it was aweful. But the teacher told me that it was because he attended too irregularly. In other words if he came daily he would get used to it! Of course it got worse and worse. I should have just known that James was not ready to be in a group situation. Luckily about five months later I started my own group - called 2to3. It was a program I wrote with Katrina, a teacher. It is awesome and has only three - five kids in a group so James could cope with the care away from me. All three of my kids have been through this and it is the best as far as I am concerned.
Anyway, I diverted but really I am passioante about listening to your gut, especially with day care!