Stating the obvious
It’s the simple solutions that sometimes make the difference. How many times have you started to search for a solution to a problem and it is right there under your nose? You peruse the books, call the doctor and are tearing your hair out and then discover that the answer was the simplest solution on earth.
Today, a mom called me to say her baby’s sleep had been a disaster for a week. The weather had changed in Cape Town and we are faced with chilly winter nights. Since her baby kicks his blanket s off and doesn’t like a sleeping bag, she was pumping up the heat in his room to keep him warm. At her wits end, she bought a room thermometer to determine just what the temperature in his room was. She reduced the temperature in his room back to 21 degree – and guess what? He slept through again! He had been over heating all along and she was making his room warmer and warmer.
I am busy potty training Em from her night time nappies and we were really battling. After three kids, I know that every baby is different so I have simply been very relaxed – certain that she will stop wetting her nappies when she is ready. Last week I went away and Dad looked after the kids and guess what? She no longer needs night nappies! I could not believe the rapid progress my husband made in this area. Asking him the secret, he just said “I stopped giving her a drink of tea at bedtime” Obvious? Yip I thought so too!
So the next time you can’t solve a problem, stop trying – the simple solution will probably present itself in no time. Do you have a ridiculously obvious solution to something? I will post this letter on the blog and you can respond with your simple solution – it may save another mum a lot of time and worry!
Anthropologically speaking, children aren’t meant to sleep alone - sleeping alone was unsafe and could have meant certain death back in the days when we were ‘uncivilised’. One of the main reasons a baby/child who is left alone cries, is to alert other humans to it’s highly vulnerable state so they will come along and rescue it, because the only reason a baby/young child would have been left alone is if it had been abandoned or it’s parents had died. Our technological society might have evolved beyond this now, but our babies (who rely purely on their instincts for survival) haven’t. So the simplest and most obvious solution to sleep problems, is to stay with a baby or young child until they fall asleep. Laying down next to them and pretending to sleep yourself will send the clear message to them that now it is time to sleep. If a child has learned to feel unsafe at bedtime (perhaps through techniques such as controlled crying or crying-it-out), this method may take longer to work. But 15-30 minutes of gentle snuggle time with a child is a much kinder way to get them to fall asleep than trying to train them (and possibly causing neurological damage), and is much more sympathetic to their biological need for dependence at point in their development. Dr Margot Sunderland has done brain research on how less sympathetic styles of parenting can cause neurological damage to young children, leading to aggression, depression and even autism. Her book “What Every Parent Needs to Know” is full of information on how to parent a child that works WITH their brain development rather than against it.
Hi There.
I would love to share my experience of starting solids with my six month old son, Daniel.It is so funny that I have to share it!
I decided to wait until Daniel was six months before starting solids, as we have a strong family history of food allergies. After consulting with Daniel’s paediatrician, I decided to start with rice cereal. Well, Dan was dead set against eating any solids - he was completely uninterested in the rice cereal (or butternut which I tried after a week of no luck with the cereal). He would purse his lips shut and turn his head. When I did manage to get some in his mouth, he would start gagging (of his own accord) and even vomited once or twice. Sometimes he would even start gagging before the food was anywhere near his mouth. I persisted for a few weeks, to no avail.
Then, one morning my husband was eating toast and he pretended to offer Daniel some: Dan opened his mouth WIDE for a bite! We both laughed at the time, but when I thought about it, that was a definite sign that he wants to eat! So why wasn’t he eating?
That night, after yet another failed attempt I put the bowl aside and decided to throw in the towel and wait a couple of weeks before trying solids again. I decided to get Daniel a raw carrot stick to “chew” on (Daniel has always loved “gumming” raw carrot sticks - I think it soothes his gums and its safe while he has no teeth). He was very excited when he saw it, squealing in delight. Then a light bulb struck – I dipped the carrot stick in the cereal and gave it to Daniel – and he loved it! He wanted more and was sucking the carrot and licking his lips – much to my delight! Eventually he finished the entire bowl of cereal! (but it took a REALLY LONG TIME – HAHAHA)I cut a “hollow” in the carrot so that it was similar to a spoon! It felt like I was going back to the dark ages!
I could not believe it. When I tried the spoon again, Daniel was not interested – so it appears that my child has an aversion to spoons!
I will have to slowly introduce the spoon, but until then I’m stocking up on carrots!!!!
Love Nikola and her carrot-loving bunny, Daniel.