Here is my breastfeeding story:

A week before James (my firstborn who is now a lanky 11 year old) was born I went to see June Henshill – any of you Cape Town mums remember her? She was a ‘guru’ of the Gina Ford ilk. She sat me down and said –that I must not feed all day but must limit my baby. She told me to feed for 3 minutes a side every four hours the first day and four minutes a side four hourly the second day. No surprises, my milk did not come in and on day four I found myself fighting with nurses at the hospital. They would not discharge me because I was refusing to bottle feed my baby and he was hungry. Of course he was – I was doing the most insane thing!

James gained weight, all be it slowly. So the next brainless thing June told me we had to do was to have a test weigh. She weighed him before the feed, I fed in front of her with tears pouring down my cheeks as I anticipated the failure I would be when he weighed in. Of course it was a ridiculous gain (now I know the test itself is ridiculous). I cried as she told me James had to have formula bottles or I have to go onto Eglynol to increase my milk supply.

I refused both and James and I limped on with him gaining 100g a week and me feeling like a failure. But you know what? - We survived. I got it right, became more flexible and never went back to June Henshill.

Looking back there were so many mistakes but they were amazing lessons for my journey. I am writing Feeding Sense right now, with a wonderful dietician and paediatrician and I hope the breastfeeding advice will be more constructive than the advice I got first time round.

Have any of you got wildly irresponsible advice? Who else has battled? Am I the only one?

In March 2010, a warning was issued on the use of ‘bag-style’ slings in the USA. This was based on a study that was looking into the safety of these slings due to injuries and deaths of baby’s whist in these slings. Infant safety is no doubt the most important issue to any person working with babies, advising on infants and developing products. For this reason I have taken the time to look at the article by Associated Press.

It is important to note a few facts: firstly slings are enormously beneficial to babies as well as being convenient for parents. Secondly the slings in question are a particular style that at this stage are not available in South Africa. These bag slings are generally connected by a clip that is not safe in my opinion and also position babies in a position that may inhibit breathing. I believe that by using one of a multitude of safe style slings according to the instructions, one should not see any risk to babies.

Benefits:

Baby wearing is one of the most wonderful ways a mother can nurture her baby. Over thousands of years and in most cultures women carried their babies in slings. Sadly this tried and trusted method went out of vogue in the 1900’s when modern prams (made popular by Maclaren in 1965) became a fashion item and were used with ease on smooth surfaces like pavements and in shopping centres. Sadly babies lost out on the benefits of being carried and nurtured close to their mom.

In recent years we have seen a trend back towards natural methods of childcare and sensory based parenting. Research by respected baby care medical experts such as Urs A. Hunziker MD and Ronald G. Barr MDCM, FRCP(C), Dr. Maria Blois amongst others supports the numerous benefits thereof. Babies who are carried in a sling are conclusively calmer than babies who are not[1]. Other benefits include:

·         Social benefits – the baby is at the parent’s level, reading signals and seeing the world with the parent.

·         Bonding – the parent has a greater opportunity to read the baby’s signals and connect with the baby at close proximity

·         Developmental – the vestibular input provided by slings facilitates motor development of tone, balance reactions and later motor milestones

·         Breastfeeding[2]

·         Language development – the baby and parent communicate more and benefits may be seen in verbal IQ

Due to the rise in popularity of sling carriers over the past few years there are more and more available on the market a few of which are not safe. These slings have elasticised edges or drawstrings that pull the fabric over the baby. They are deep sling bags that position the baby low on the mother’s body.

Using slings safely:

When choosing a sling, a mother must look for a ring sling, mei tais, wrap or pouch sling all of which do not pose the risks that are being highlighted. These slings are simple, without ties and gimmicks. This style of slings are frequently tested and approved by a standards organisation in the USA.

Bear these additional tips in mind: Keep your baby close and keep your baby safe. When you’re wearing a sling or carrier, don’t forget the T.I.C.K.S.

Tight                                         ü

In view at all times                     ü

Close enough to kiss                 ü

Keep chin off the chest              ü

Supported straight back            ü         

I am a mother three times over. It has been the journey of my life. Nobody told me that it would be so hard and so amazing, so tender and so harsh. You want to know about my ups and downs? Where do I being, one moment holds elation and the next despair and as my three get older, the ups and downs are just taller.

I wanted to breastfeed my babies more than anything, for me it would mean I was a good mummy. But it really was one of my biggest downers. I battled to get started and even once my milk came in it really hurt when the milk flowed. I recall well sitting feeding with tears dropping off my cheeks onto my baby’s cheek. But I did get it right and I loved it in the end. Breastfeeding has its ups and downs.

Midnight feeds were also bittersweet. I loved being alone with my baby, sitting in the dim silence of the house listening to her little nuzzle noises and feeding. I would look out the window as I burped her and think of the lights out there, how many mums are holding a tiny bundle like I am; who is as lucky as me. But months later when I was up for the sixth time that night I would resentfully drag myself to my crying baby, just as I had fallen asleep. Night wakings have their ups and downs!

My three babies, you make me vulnerable, I feel insecure with many decisions and I occasionally even resent the way you bring out the maternal guilt in me but in every moment I adore you. You are more precious and have added more to my life than I can say. Bitter-sweet; ups and downs – you are my rocking-rolling journey and I love being your mum.

I have just come off the phone with a mum who is desperate to breastfeed her baby, but is finding the sacrifice too much. She is sore, she is tired and she has 2 other children to look after and is feeling tempted to bottle feed to ease the load. We chatted and shared our experiences of breatsfeeding and just that quick connection between mother to mother has encouraged her to keep trying. Parenting is full of ups, downs, decisions to make, joys and hard times, but I have always found that the greatest support comes from sharing your experiences with other mums. There is so much information available to us these days it can be hard to know what to follow and which decision is the right one. We forget to listen to our intuition which is usually right. I would love to hear stories of you following your intuition.

Today I sit at work feeling beyond tired. My little Daniel who has never been a good sleeper was up again last night at 3am. He did not go back to sleep as he sometimes does. This has had a knock on effect on my whole day. I still have to get up, do the school run, go to work, cook and sort out things for tomorrow. Dan was so tired I had to fetch him from Nursery early which impacted on my day heavily. On days like these it is easy to feel as if parenting is such hard work as every niggle or moan my kids make is magnified by feeling tired.

But parenting is such time of contrasts. Just yesterday I was brimming with pride as both my boys learned to ride their bikes. Tom took his fairy wheels off his bike, and after a few goes he was off on his own, not even looking back. Dan pressed the pedals on his bike for the first time and powered his 3 wheeler on his own. I must have taken 100 photo’s and quickly sent off emails and posted them on the internet showing everyone who cares what genius children I have.

Thankfully the joys far out way the down times. Feeling like I do today I could easily just crawl into bed and stay there, but instead I am planning on getting those bikes out again and giving my boys a chance to show off their new skills again. No matter how sleepy I am, I know that the joy of watching them is coming and it makes it all worthwhile.

Does anyone else have these kind of days? I want to hear about them.

On the news this morning (in the UK) there was a story on a woman who went back to work just 7 hours after having her 3rd baby. She is the Head Teacher of an all girls school and she carries her baby in a pouch while she is teaching, breastfeeds between meetings and gets her paper work done while the baby sleeps. She admits that she is in quite a unique situation where her work allows her to bring her baby with her (she is the boss after all) and her baby is settled and relaxed in temperatment. She is wanting to set a good example to the girls she teaches, showing them that they can have it all - a family life as well as a high flying career.

I am not quite sure what to think of this. Part of me wants to give her a high five for what she is doing. She obviously feels she will be able to cope with the work load as well as the demands of a new baby. She will be demonstrating mothering to the girls she teaches in a culture where we all live such seperate lives and dont really get to see other women we are close to mothering on a daily basis.

Another part of me wonders if she is setting the bar too high for the girls in her class. Not everyone will be able to do this. This could not be a reality for most girls, especially with their first babies. Is this benefiting the baby or could this eventually be something quite diffiult for the baby to cope with. Being only a few days old this baby is feeding and sleeping, but in a few weeks time she will “wake up” and start to interact more and demand more of her mothers attention.

Is the mother missing out on that precious bonding time by not taking maternity leave, or is she gaining that time by having her baby with her all the time. If she is wearing her baby for most of the day - more so than if she was home with the baby - is this where she will make up the extra bonding moments?

I actually think this happens more than we realise. You hear stories all the time of women in some countries who have their babies and within a matter of hours have strapped the baby to their back and are back working in the fields out of necessity rather than choice.

Baby wearing has made it possible for this Head Teach to go back to doing her every day tasks. I felt passionate about wearing my children and loved the fact that I could pretty much get on with my day and have my babies close to me. I can remember those early days too, baby in pouch, standing in my kitchen, typing away on my laptop, catching up with work and not wanting to let that side of my life go.

Let me know what you think. Is this a good thing? or is it a step too far?

Babies who are carried more cry less.

Baby wearing helps your baby adapt to the outside world by having you close as their security.

It enhances parent/baby bonding.

It is practical.

It enhances breast feeding.

It helps you reconnect with your baby if you have been away for a few hours or at work for the day.

It lets you get things done but at the same time you can meet your baby’s needs.

Today I walked with my children to drop Tom (4) off at school. Daniel (2) was in his pram as it is 2 mile round trip. On the way there my all-singing, all-dancing, all-terrain pram had a flat tire which made it almost impossible to push with Dan in it. On the way home it started to drizzle. They type of drizzle that soaks you and freezes you to the bone.

I so wished I had just taken my Baby Sense Sling along with me instead of the pram. I thought back to the days when Dan was very little, walking Tom to school with him in the sling. He would sleep all the way there and all the way back. As he grew I used the sling in all the different positions until he was sitting on my hip supported by the sling. I can safely say that with Dan I used my sling far more than I ever used my pram.

Now that he is 2 he wants to walk but I still get the treat of having him in his sling from time to time. I loved Baby Wearing and when I see other moms using slings and carries with their babies I long to have another baby so I can have that closeness again. Dan was a fussy baby and some days all I could do was carry him to help him to soothe. My sling went everywhere with me.

I would love to hear from other baby wearers out there. What has been your experience of using pouches and slings with your baby?

Happy New year to all of our Baby Sense parents and parents to be. Wishing everyone a marvellous 2010. I have just come back from South Africa to my home in the UK and I must say it is all a bit of a shock to the system. South Africa was 30 degrees and my kids spent most of their days either on the beach or in the pool when we were there. Back home in the UK it is freezing cold. Literally freezing at around -3 degrees. I have had to readjust my thinking as to what to do with my 2 boys in this freezing weather. Well, wherever you are in the world Baby Sense has some ideas for you. Hot or cold, rain or shine, visit our website for ideas on activities you can do at home and outdoors:

Winter Activities for yout Baby & Toddler

Winter Day Survival Guide

Summer Activities for your Baby & Toddler

Summer Outing Essentials

Water Safety

Laying out Baby’s Play Space

The Baby Sense Directory is doing great! We are happy to announce that the following service partners have joined our directory:

• Bubble Kids Furniture 
• Baby Massage Classes
• Birds and Bees Maternity Wear
• Living Life
• Baby Hands SA
• Eli and Moon
• Tambino’s
• BabyGym Institute SA
• Sam Mihajlovic

If you would like to list your baby or child related service or product, please contact us and send us the info.