Here is my favourite dessert to make. 

You need: Mango, plain yoghurt, brown sugar.

Cut up a ripe fresh mango or 2.  Cover with a thick layer of natural yoghurt and sprinkle a layer of brown sugar on top.  Cover and leave in the fridge for a few hours. 

Easy, fresh and healthy.  My kids love it.

Of course Emily adores her granny and even my preadolescent boy tells his gran more than he tells me. I know it’s simply because she will sit and watch them play, wait for them to talk and wonder with about life with them.

In the 1900’s a wise psychologist, Elizabeth Muir, came up with a method of interacting with babies and kids called Watch Wait and Wonder. This method has been extensively developed and used therapeutically since then. The reality is that it is no rocket science – it’s so basic that it is hard to do. It entails sitting with your baby, and watching him play. Then reflecting on what he is doing and wondering at his abilities and needs.

It has been proven to decrease bedtime  battles, improve relationships and increase self esteem. Clearly something we should all do.

Sometimes I find this easier said than done, but this month I want to slow down a bit and listen and relate with wonder to my precious babies!

Get a small box of toys - 4 or 5 items, sit on the floor with your tot and let him explore the box.  Watch what he does, wait for him to engage you and lead you into his play and wonder about what he is learning and what memories he is creating.

It is a special 20-30 minutes you can do each day.  Undivided attention - no phones, TV, emails or interuptions.

I want to know your experience so let me know what happens.

Tati means father in many languages.  This father’s Day remember those babies who don’t have Dad’s and buy a Tati.  Proceeds of Tati go to the Baby Sense Touch Trust, helping disadvantaged mums care for their babies…

Tati is a bear with a heart

• Reduces waste on offcuts of our other products
• Made by community projects
• Creates jobs
• Less environmental waste

Best of all…your baby will sleep well with Tati’s comfort. 

Available at Wellness Warehouse, selected baby stores and at www.babysense.co.za/shop in South Africa only.

Our Baby Sense team would love to hear the sweetest things your children have said.

A week before James (my firstborn who is now a lanky 11 year old) was born I went to see June Henshill – any of you Cape Town mums remember her? She was a ‘guru’ of the Gina Ford ilk. She sat me down and said –that I must not feed all day but must limit my baby. She told me to feed for 3 minutes a side every four hours the first day and four minutes a side four hourly the second day. No surprises, my milk did not come in and on day four I found myself fighting with nurses at the hospital. They would not discharge me because I was refusing to bottle feed my baby and he was hungry. Of course he was – I was doing the most insane thing!

James gained weight, all be it slowly. So the next brainless thing June told me we had to do was to have a test weigh. She weighed him before the feed, I fed in front of her with tears pouring down my cheeks as I anticipated the failure I would be when he weighed in. Of course it was a ridiculous gain (now I know the test itself is ridiculous). I cried as she told me James had to have formula bottles or I have to go onto Eglynol to increase my milk supply.

I refused both and James and I limped on with him gaining 100g a week and me feeling like a failure. But you know what? - We survived. I got it right, became more flexible and never went back to June Henshill.

Looking back there were so many mistakes but they were amazing lessons for my journey. I am writing Feeding Sense right now, with a wonderful dietician and paediatrician and I hope the breastfeeding advice will be more constructive than the advice I got first time round.

Have any of you got wildly irresponsible advice? Who else has battled? Am I the only one?

In March 2010, a warning was issued on the use of ‘bag-style’ slings in the USA. This was based on a study that was looking into the safety of these slings due to injuries and deaths of baby’s whist in these slings. Infant safety is no doubt the most important issue to any person working with babies, advising on infants and developing products. For this reason I have taken the time to look at the article by Associated Press.

It is important to note a few facts: firstly slings are enormously beneficial to babies as well as being convenient for parents. Secondly the slings in question are a particular style that at this stage are not available in South Africa. These bag slings are generally connected by a clip that is not safe in my opinion and also position babies in a position that may inhibit breathing. I believe that by using one of a multitude of safe style slings according to the instructions, one should not see any risk to babies.

Benefits:

Baby wearing is one of the most wonderful ways a mother can nurture her baby. Over thousands of years and in most cultures women carried their babies in slings. Sadly this tried and trusted method went out of vogue in the 1900’s when modern prams (made popular by Maclaren in 1965) became a fashion item and were used with ease on smooth surfaces like pavements and in shopping centres. Sadly babies lost out on the benefits of being carried and nurtured close to their mom.

In recent years we have seen a trend back towards natural methods of childcare and sensory based parenting. Research by respected baby care medical experts such as Urs A. Hunziker MD and Ronald G. Barr MDCM, FRCP(C), Dr. Maria Blois amongst others supports the numerous benefits thereof. Babies who are carried in a sling are conclusively calmer than babies who are not[1]. Other benefits include:

·         Social benefits – the baby is at the parent’s level, reading signals and seeing the world with the parent.

·         Bonding – the parent has a greater opportunity to read the baby’s signals and connect with the baby at close proximity

·         Developmental – the vestibular input provided by slings facilitates motor development of tone, balance reactions and later motor milestones

·         Breastfeeding[2]

·         Language development – the baby and parent communicate more and benefits may be seen in verbal IQ

Due to the rise in popularity of sling carriers over the past few years there are more and more available on the market a few of which are not safe. These slings have elasticised edges or drawstrings that pull the fabric over the baby. They are deep sling bags that position the baby low on the mother’s body.

Using slings safely:

When choosing a sling, a mother must look for a ring sling, mei tais, wrap or pouch sling all of which do not pose the risks that are being highlighted. These slings are simple, without ties and gimmicks. This style of slings are frequently tested and approved by a standards organisation in the USA.

Bear these additional tips in mind: Keep your baby close and keep your baby safe. When you’re wearing a sling or carrier, don’t forget the T.I.C.K.S.

Tight                                         ü

In view at all times                     ü

Close enough to kiss                 ü

Keep chin off the chest              ü

Supported straight back            ü         

I wanted to breastfeed my babies more than anything, for me it would mean I was a good mummy. But it really was one of my biggest downers. I battled to get started and even once my milk came in it really hurt when the milk flowed. I recall well sitting feeding with tears dropping off my cheeks onto my baby’s cheek. But I did get it right and I loved it in the end. Breastfeeding has its ups and downs.

Midnight feeds were also bittersweet. I loved being alone with my baby, sitting in the dim silence of the house listening to her little nuzzle noises and feeding. I would look out the window as I burped her and think of the lights out there, how many mums are holding a tiny bundle like I am; who is as lucky as me. But months later when I was up for the sixth time that night I would resentfully drag myself to my crying baby, just as I had fallen asleep. Night wakings have their ups and downs!

My three babies, you make me vulnerable, I feel insecure with many decisions and I occasionally even resent the way you bring out the maternal guilt in me but in every moment I adore you. You are more precious and have added more to my life than I can say. Bitter-sweet; ups and downs – you are my rocking-rolling journey and I love being your mum.