Consistency is the key
ANTOINETTE:
Hi Meg
Chatting with friends this weekend we discovered that we have similar issues to deal with with our toddlers (Both 3). Grant sometimes finds Thomas difficult to manage. When looking after Tom on his own Tom seems to become a bit of a handful and can really act out. When I am with him, generally he is well behaved. We have our moments, but we have reached an understanding with each other. I set the limits, he tests them, but I am consistent in how I manage him. Grant either gives in, or digs in, so Tom doesnt really know where he stands. He sometimes gets away with stuff, and sometimes not. Our friends have a similar situation with their 3 year old girl. She can be well behaved with 1 parent and a nightmare with the other. Do you find this happens in your house at all?
With my teaching background I find that in dealing with children being consistent is the key. They need to know where they stand, they need to know what boundaries they can’t push and which ones they can. Be consistent. If you have said no today, don’t say yes tomorrow. Always give a reason though for why you have chosen a certain stance. Toddlers can be a handful, but they work us out so quickly and they know which is the softer parent. As parents you need to consult with each other on the really big issues and make sure you are both saying the same thing. The other most important thing in managing children of all ages is to keep them busy, and to provide activities that can result in creativity. Boredom can result in mischief, but given the right tools and opportunity for creativity it can turn into something lovely. I have a box of blocks out for Tom. He often takes himself off to build and he is starting to have real thought into what he is creating. Its great to see his little mind create something.