Sisterhood of Motherhood
The Baby Sense blog

Hi Meg

I had some good feedback for you on your Baby sense book today.  I gave it to a friend of mine when she had her second baby and she cant stop singing its praises.  She had Post Natal Depression after her fist born and has always said to others that the birth is the easy part, its the months after that are so bad.  Knowing how bad it was for her I was surprised that they decided to have a second baby.  Her second is now 5 months old and she has found it so much better this time around. Thankfully she has not suffered with Post Natal Depression this time.  I asked her what she felt the difference was.  She said that she knew what to expect this time around and she also says the Baby sense book really seemed to have helped her.  When she received it in the post she didn’t think she would read it, feeling that she had done it all before.  Over a few days though she started reading it in sections that were relevant to her and her baby.  She said it has made such a difference as she now knows how to read her baby’s signals, is watching his awake times carefully and understands sleep cycles.  Her second baby is far more less fracious than her first and is a calm and contended little man.

I just thought you might like to know that Baby sense made a difference in someones life!

Look out for our Article in our Happy Days section on Post Natal Depression on the Baby Sense website in February.

Hi Meg:

A neighbour of ours had a baby girl just over 2 weeks ago.  I popped over to her with a Baby Sense book (life saving manual for new moms) as a gift and when she opened the door I could see she had been crying.  I went in, made her a cup of tea, tidied her kitchen a little while she fed the baby and let her let off some steam.  It turned out that her baby was not sleeping much during the day, and slept restlessly at night.  I asked if she was swaddling her little girl and it turns out she wasnt.  I went straight home, dug out Daniels Cuddlewraps from when he was a tiny baby and took them straight over.  I showed her how to use it, but I could she see was not that keen to try it out.  I left it with her to make her own choice.  That was 2 days ago.  Today I had a note through my door from her saying that she could not believe the difference.  Her baby was now sleeping during the day and sleeping more soundly at night now that she was being swaddled..  She said it had an almost instant effect.  Wonderful.  Cuddlewrap to the rescue!

Meg - I know swaddling works, but what are the sensory reasons why it works?

MEG:

Hi Nette – it is so nice to get this feedback. I have to say that without question, the Cuddlewrap is my favourite Baby Sense product. I spent months working on the Cuddlewrap before perfecting its design and as far as I am concerned there is no better swaddling blanket on the market. Having said that, the reality is that it doesn’t matter what a mom uses, she must swaddle her baby and there are two reasons:

1. We have two sensory tracts that carry touch to our brain. One is alerting and makes us hyped up – this touch is generally light touch (like tickling). Deep touch such as massage travels on the other tract and is completely calming. By swaddling your baby you provide wonderful deep pressure touch that is soothing.

2. The second reason swaddling really helps to calm babies is that is contains and prevents the immature movements of the arms from disconcerting your baby. In the first three months the primitive reflexes (moro and startle reflexes) move your baby’s arms away from the midline and make her arms jerk around. Swaddling contains these movements making your baby feel more secure like those last days in the womb.

Swaddling with the Cuddlewrap is perfectly safe as we encourage the baby’s hands to be swaddled near their face so they can self sooth and regulate their body temperature.

ANTOINETTE:

Happy New year to all our Baby Sense moms and Dads.  Wishing you a year filled with happy days and Peaceful nights.  Every year I make a list of challenges I set for myself - not resolutions, but goals - for each aspect of my life.  Challenges for myself as a mother, friend, daughter and wife.  These are my 10 challenges for 2009 as a mother:

1.  Take more photos of my children - I am forever missing moments that I should be treasuring

2.  Stop telling my children that I am tired - not doing something with them because I am tired is a loss of a precious moment.

3.  Stop telling my children I am busy - being too busy to do something with them is a tragedy

4.  Live the moments - be 100% there when I am involved with my children, forget the work, phone, cleaning up, just be there.

5.  Hold my children that much tighter, more cuddles, kisses and laugh more with them.

6.  Dont sweat the small stuff - stop getting cross with things I could let slide

7.  Get outside more - children learn best when outdoors and in nature.

8.  Involve my kids more - get them to help with the chores.  It is extra time to spend engaging with them.

9.  Stop being late - factor in last minute nappy changes, lost shoes and melt downs into time needed to get going. 

10.  More time out for myself and my husband - Parenting is a joy, but it is taxing.  Time out for yourselves is vital.  We certainly dont get enough.

So come on 2009, I am ready for you!!!

ANTOINETTE:

Hi Meg

As mothers we have cetain instincts when it comes to our children.  I recently took Dan (1) to the local clinic as his scalp was dry and itchy.  I was told to just leave it alone and it would go away.  So I left it, trusting the advice of a medical professional, but I constantly felt like I should be making a Doctors appointment.  3 weeks later I finally did make that appointment and it turns out that he had an infection on his scalp, that he has now spread to other parts of his skin.  Nothing that a few doses of antibiotics wont cure.  But I could just kick myself for not trusting my instincts in the first place.

I recently had a letter from a mom who was concerned about how the nursery were dealing with her child.  This mothers instincts were crying out to her, but she didnt want to be rude, and didnt want to interfere, so she left it until there was quite a serious accident in the nursery.  Thankfully her child was fine, but the mother is now so upset with herself for not raising her issues sooner.

 The lesson here is to trust your instincts.  We know our children best and we are connected to them by an invisible string.  If you are unsure, if you need to seek further advice, if you feel you need to ask questions… then Do it!

 Hi Nette I know exactly what you are talking about. Often I know something or just feel something about one of my kids but I become too anxious to follow my gut because I am conditioned to seek advise. I think because we are educated and because there are a plethora of ‘experts’ out there, we lose confidence in ourselves and don’t follow our gut. I do think that with subsequent children we do become more confident and also to busy to seek advise. So maybe we parent more from the gut with baby two and three than with our first borns.

The one thing that you mention about day care concerns me though. I really think this is one area where you take no risks. What I wish someone had told me was: You will really KNOW when your baby is happy. If you have doubts then change the day care. I made such a mistake with James on this area. He was 19 months when I put him into daycare/nursery for two hours twice a week. He sreamed and cried and it was aweful. But the teacher told me that it was because he attended too irregularly. In other words if he came daily he would get used to it! Of course it got worse and worse. I should have just known that James was not ready to be in a group situation. Luckily about five months later I started my own group - called 2to3. It was a program I wrote with Katrina, a teacher. It is awesome and has only three - five kids in a group so James could cope with the care away from me. All three of my kids have been through this and it is the best as far as I am concerned.

 Anyway, I diverted but really I am passioante about listening to your gut, especially with day care!

Antoinette:

We are so excited.  Daniel (14 Months) took his first steps on the weekend.  I really thought he was still too wobbly on his feet to walk, but off he went.  Over the last 3 days he has been fine tuning his style.  He gets ready… gets his balance…has a little bounce…lets go… arms in the air …and walks.  I am amazed at the control he has achieved in his balance over the last few days.  At first it was 2 or 3 steps.  Today he walked from the front door to the kitchen wich is at least 10 Baby Steps.  Another milestone reached!!!  One small twinge of sadness though.  I use my Baby Sense sling to get around with him on a daily basis.  Where ever we have been in the last few days I have taken him out of the sling to have a little walk.  He is so pleased with his new found skill that he doesnt want to go back in the sling.  Does this mean my slinging days are coming to an end?  I hope not.  With Dan in the sling we are so close.  It has been his (and my) favourite place to be since he was born.

Megan and Antoinette are so happy to welcome a new baby girl into our family.  Baby Taryn was born to Andre and Kim on 11 November.  Congratulations.  It is always so exciting to welcome a new little person into our lives.

ANTOINETTE:

Hi Meg

What is Roseola and how do I treat it?  Daniel (1) has a red rash all over his back and torso and has had a temperature on an off for the past few days.  I phoned NHS direct and they are not too concerned.  They thought it sounds like Roseola and they said that all babies get it at some stage.  Should I be worried?

ANTOINETTE:

Today I have to decide whether or not to go ahead with the MMR Jab for Daniel (1yr).  With such bad press for this particular jab in recent years I am unsure and have searched the internet for information and advice.  First we are told that research suggests a link between the MMR and autims as well as Crohns disease, then a few years later we are told that this is wrong and no link has been found.  I feel confused about what to do.  We know now that this has all been very carefully looked into and doubts in my mind should be dashed… but still I am looking for further advice to help me make the decision.    Even though I did take Tom (3 yrs) for the Jab when it was his time I remember also being usure about whether or not to go.  

I will probably go ahead with it, because I do feel that the benefits far outweigh any risk involved.  I would be interested to hear what other parents think about this choice on whether or not to vaccinate?  Leave a comment if you wish to join this discussion.

ANTOINETTE:

Hi Meg

We are away on a much deserved holiday.  The last holiday was over 8 months ago and it has been a busy year for our family.  We have had a marvellous time but Tom (3) has become ill and I don’t have anything with me to help him.  He has a cough, a bad cold and is running a high temperature.  Nothing too serious, but I don’t know what I can do to make him feel more comfortable without my medicines for him and his usual home comforts.  He is getting upset and missing home and we still have 3 days to go.  He also wants to sleep a lot more than he usually does at home.  Should I let him just rest or should I try to keep him in his usualy routine?  I don’t think he needs to go to a doctor, but do you know any home remedies or tips that I can help him with whatever I can get my hands on from the hotel?  Thanks

ANTOINETTE:

Hi Meg

In your practice, how do you determine if a baby you see is a “fussy baby”?  Do you have a checklist that helps you to know if you are dealing with a fussy baby? I think Daniel (1) is a fussy baby and I am not always sure how to manage him.  I have always made allowances for Daniel because he had such a rough start in life and has been ill on and off for so long.  He is a year old now and I am trying to stop making excuses for not dealing with issues that should be sorted out by now.  Daniel has never been a good sleeper, nor a good eater.  He is either in a great mood or really fussing, never in between.  His mood changes at the drop of a hat.  If distressed he does not like to be cuddled and will arch his back and push away from me.  He presently throws tantrums that any 2 year old would be proud of and he takes ages to calm down.  Could Daniel be a fussy baby?  And how should I handle him  from day to day?