Back to work and Baby Wearing
On the news this morning (in the UK) there was a story on a woman who went back to work just 7 hours after having her 3rd baby. She is the Head Teacher of an all girls school and she carries her baby in a pouch while she is teaching, breastfeeds between meetings and gets her paper work done while the baby sleeps. She admits that she is in quite a unique situation where her work allows her to bring her baby with her (she is the boss after all) and her baby is settled and relaxed in temperatment. She is wanting to set a good example to the girls she teaches, showing them that they can have it all - a family life as well as a high flying career.
I am not quite sure what to think of this. Part of me wants to give her a high five for what she is doing. She obviously feels she will be able to cope with the work load as well as the demands of a new baby. She will be demonstrating mothering to the girls she teaches in a culture where we all live such seperate lives and dont really get to see other women we are close to mothering on a daily basis.
Another part of me wonders if she is setting the bar too high for the girls in her class. Not everyone will be able to do this. This could not be a reality for most girls, especially with their first babies. Is this benefiting the baby or could this eventually be something quite diffiult for the baby to cope with. Being only a few days old this baby is feeding and sleeping, but in a few weeks time she will “wake up” and start to interact more and demand more of her mothers attention.
Is the mother missing out on that precious bonding time by not taking maternity leave, or is she gaining that time by having her baby with her all the time. If she is wearing her baby for most of the day - more so than if she was home with the baby - is this where she will make up the extra bonding moments?
I actually think this happens more than we realise. You hear stories all the time of women in some countries who have their babies and within a matter of hours have strapped the baby to their back and are back working in the fields out of necessity rather than choice.
Baby wearing has made it possible for this Head Teach to go back to doing her every day tasks. I felt passionate about wearing my children and loved the fact that I could pretty much get on with my day and have my babies close to me. I can remember those early days too, baby in pouch, standing in my kitchen, typing away on my laptop, catching up with work and not wanting to let that side of my life go.
Let me know what you think. Is this a good thing? or is it a step too far?
I think she is a remarkable woman in her dedication to her job and she must be a very strong woman. If it works for her, great! However, I don’t think she is doing her students a good turn at all… there are a lot of girls that will see themselves as failures if they cannot achieve what this woman has done. Having a baby is a huge adjustment and in today’s fast-paced society it is all about how much you can get into your day and less about taking time out to focus on one thing, i.e. motherhood. Granted, some women are obliged to return to work, but maternity leave is the norm in most workplaces and she will have time to spend with her newborn at home.
It’s a tough one but I reckon she should stay home for a few weeks, at least!
I wonder at the wisdom of this type of choice. Yes, it is great to be able to do it all, but why should a woman have to do everything? What about the baby’s father?
Obvioulsly at this point is she is breastfeeding he can’t really take over the feeding duties but why is it just expected that a woman has to do all the juggling while the father just gets to turn over at night and get more sleep and then wake in the morning complaining about how he is struggling with sleep deprivation while asking his wife to make him coffee and find his shoes?
Why do working mothers find themselves still working full shifts at home after working a full day at the office?
Isn’t the actions of this mother just going to set the whole argument that mothering is a full-time job and needs to be respected as such back by 20 years or so?
I for one don’t think that is a fantastic example to show girls at her school at all. All I can say is thank goodness it is not a co-Ed school or she might be giving the boy pupils the idea that it is fine to leave all the parenting responsibilities up to the mother on her own.
Hi Ladies
Thank you for your input. You both have great thoughts on both sides of the story here. We would love to hear what more mums think of this.
Okay, I am biased.
I think our head-teacher is possibly heading for a burn out. Honestly, unless she has a night nanny and sleeps un-interrupted for 8 solid hours, plus has someone else running her household, doing the domestic duties for her, then I believe she is over-doing it.
Or, she has not planned properly for maternity leave, and is showing signs of a bad manager.
She has just had a baby… she should stop and “smell the roses” and sniff those cute little toes, caress the tiny fingers and forget about work for a while.
And, any physio would FREAK if they knew a new-born baby was in a sling for hours upon hours a day, it is so bad for their posture. I learned from an OT that newborn babies should lie flat for most of their early days and have the freedom to move in their calm-alert and active alert stages (when not swaddled, of course, Meg).
Yes, bring the baby to school when she has had her 3 months of one-on-one maternity leave. Yes, show the school girls what a HUGE commitment it is to have a baby: a baby is NOT just a new item you wear to work. “The message” could be mis-interpreted as “cool, maybe I will also have a baby and be back-in-action after 7 days”.
But, yes, being a school teacher is probably one of the best jobs for parents with kids… lots of paid holidays.
I think this well-intentioned teacher and mum should stay at home for AT LEAST 3 months….
Like I said, I am biased.