Dads just trying to help
Hi Nette
One of my friends had a baby 10 weeks ago and wrote this to me today - “It is funny how little sleep can influence your entire being. John helped me out and went shopping. He returned with frozen broccoli and chocolate cookies both things that I can’t eat while breast feeding. I burst out in tears and we had a huge fight about him not listening or concentrating while I tell him things. The poor guy was also just as tired as I was, and thought he would get us something else for a change.”
I know exactly how she felt, I used to crap on Philip for no reason. He was generally a darling, trying as hard as I was to adjust to parenthood but I was a bit of a tyrant when I was tired and emotional. I attended this talk yesterday at the NCT conference - on Fathers adjusting to parenthood and it seems this is very common and that we don’t recognize how Dad’s feel and that they are also battling with the adjustment as much as we are.
Another thing that I picked up was that if parents support each other well after the birth of a baby, it has a huge effect on the mom’s mood and whether she gets PND and on the baby’s long term emotional development. - Interesting stuff…
Meg
ANTOINETTE:
Broccoli and chocolate biscuits. Hehehe. I once got an aray of cheeses that I couldnt eat whislt pregnant. Yes - he was just trying to help and thought he would “Try something different”. Don’t men know “different” is not always good when you are sleep deprived, hormonal and emotional. Men! What are they thinking.
Having said that I am so pleased we live in a world now where most men are keen to help and get involved in their childrens lives or with the everday tasks like shopping. We often forget that our partners bear as much of the load, are just a sleep deprived and still manage a day of work on top of that. It is that support that gets us through in the early days.
Grant does the weekly shop for us from time to time. He buys all the wrong stuff, not enough of anything and then moans about what it costs. At least he is helping. Gotta love modern men.